Limits

July has started. In Utah, that means not only Independence Day, but also Pioneer Day, which is actually more celebrated here in Utah. The state legislature this year has seen fit to lift some of the restrictions on fireworks, allowing regular ordinary people to purchse and use fireworks that rise 100 feet into the air, and then explode. These fireworks are allowed for a week leading up to each of the state holidays in July. So for half of the month, we have been, and will be, having fireworks every night. The argument has been made that regulating fireworks is an infringement on individual freedom.

The first night of July, the fireworks began. Captain and Smokey went ballistic, barking every time one exploded in our neighborhood, and sometimes at explosions we couldn't hear. I went out to see how the animals were doing. Maisy and Harley were unfazed. Trinket and Music Man were alert, looking at each one when it happened, but not running. I stood in the pasture for a while with Kitty and Cleo crowded close to me. Cleo pawed (hoofed?) at my leg, and then reared up to put her front feet on my hips. I sat down with her, and she crawled into my lap and curled up in a tight little ball. I thought, 'guess I'm spending the night out here now...'. But the fireworks faded away before midnight. Cleo got out of my lap and shook herself off, and I limped back to the house with both my feet gone to sleep.

By the time the ACTUAL fourth rolled around, the horses, dogs and goats had gotten used to the noises and the flashing lights. From where we sit, we can see the benches all around the valley. After the town shows were done, the benches were still lit up with dozens of individual, at home fireworks. We got tired around 11:30 and went to bed, while the show was still going on.

We are lucky here this year, and have had a lot of rain. There were only three wildfires (that I know of) started by fireworks in the area. One burned just a couple of acres immediately southeast of our old house. The other two were both in the foothills in Salt Lake, and threatened the not-yet-finished museum of natural history, and several other University buildings.

All of which got me started thinking about the meaning of individual freedom in a society. (not that i expect to have anything really NEW to say on this perennial topic of college essays!) Clearly, this particular freedom for some impinges on the freedom of others. The actions of my neighbors impinges on my ability to run a business, feed myself, sleep, and protect myself and those in my care. These actions also impinge on the efforts of firefighters to keep us all safe. Looking just to the south, in Arizona and New Mexico, we see horrific examples of the effect of fire in the desert. These actions cost money. Every time the fire department has to ask the firefighters to work overtime, to be on call for the month of July, that costs money. Every time the fire department has to get called out to put out fires, that costs money. This year, not one but two Universities in the state had buildings that were threatened by fire. If those buildings burn, it will cost tens of millions of dollars to rebuild them! A wildfire on the scale of those further south has incalculable costs, by any metric you choose to measure. So I can't agree that 'freedom' means being able to do whatever you want whenever you want. That's not freedom. That's anarchy.

So then I was thinking about my own life. Several people have commented about how constrained we are now. We absolutely have to be here twice a day, at feeding and milking time. The further we go down this path we are following, the more we find other limits as well. There are entire swaths of the grocery store that we never visit. If we are out of jam, we are out, until we can make it again (and then we'll make more this time, so we don't run out!) This ground can support only four horses, in the oh-so-luxurious way we mean to keep them. I can't have more. Choosing to care about peak oil and climate change means that I can't buy just anyold car,but have to wait for the Leaf or the Volt. Our new refrigerator is neither hip nor trendy, and doesn't have an ice maker, but it uses only as much electricity as a light bulb. Most of these are self-imposed limits, but I find they give shape to my life. Identifying the boundaries that I'm willing to live within identifies what's important to me. Drawing a line around the outside defines the center and gives me a place to be and to rest. Within those boundaries, I am absolutely free to do what I think is best. But only by acknowledging those boundaries do I know what 'best' means.

And this is where it gets tricky and complicated. Because the boundaries mean that i have to make hard choices. I don't get to just have whatever I want whenever I want it. And my boundaries bump into other people's boundaries all over the place! We have (jokingly) been accused of single-handedly ruining the Ogden economy, with our thrifty mentality that makes use of everything we can get our opposable digits on. My choices for my animals impact other people in ways great and small, positive and negative. I'm sure my neighbors appreciate our efforts at fly control, but get annoyed at the dust that comes off of our sacrificial paddocks. Putting in a full size dressage arena makes my life awesome, but also means we have people trailering in for lessons and we have changed the drainage along the south property line. We do the best we can to be aware of how we impact other people's freedoms, and willingly take on the responsibility of trying to limit the negative impact as much as possible. With great freedom comes great responsibility. And maybe that's where the answer sits. Because as a culture, we seem at the moment to be obsessed with freedom, but neglecting responsibility. Being free, to me, means that I get to choose some of my boundaries. It also means i get to choose how I fill the space inside all the boundaries that are either chosen by all of us together (i.e. By the government), or the non-negotiable ones set by nature herself. It doesn't mean that I don't have boundaries. A person without limits isn't free. They are lost.